What Do I Really Want?

It is a question that is oft asked, but rarely answered. Or at least, rarely answered accurately. It may start as a simple wish for financial independence. To leave the chains of indentured servitude and have enough to chart one’s own course. Which sounds great, until after years of striving towards financial freedom, arrival doesn’t fulfill that nagging question. What do I really want? No, really?

I can’t decide on a definition of enough if I can’t enumerate enough of what.

I struggle with this concept.

Money

Obviously this is not the answer. Accruing enough wealth to free up my time is definitely worthwhile. It is most definitely a stepping stone to some version of living my best life. But while it is necessary, it certainly is not sufficient.

Money can’t give me purpose. It can’t create worthwhile goals that fill my cup. It can’t create an identity. I can no more define myself by my bank account than I could by the type of car I drive. And it sure can’t give me connection to my fellow man. The building of wealth will never make me a better person, friend, or family member.

What do I really want? Enough money to not have to think about how I spend. A net worth that helps me revert to plan B when plan A is no longer working.

A modicum of freedom.

Fame

I have to admit that there is a certain attraction to being recognized. Whether it is as the next great American physician author or a local internet celebrity in the financial independence community, It is fun dream the great dream.

Until you realize that it takes a lifetime of work and passion. If you really want it. You can’t do it part time, or when you feel like it, or only when it feels good. In order to make a splash in public you have to constantly make and recreate yourself.

I envy those who have this stamina, yet have never been able to maintain it myself.

What do I really want? The trappings of fame sound great, but the actual moment to moment is probably not for me. I just never wanted it that badly.

Happiness?

As many have heard me say before, I don’t really like the term. Most of us don’t. I think happiness is a fleeting sensation. A chemical phenomenon that flutters in and out of our lives.

Contentment seems more the optimal state. The general baseline of feeling that life is good, and that there is meaning and purpose to pursue. There will be spikes of happiness and sadness laced throughout.

What do I really want. Contentment. Peace.

From There To Here

How do I get there from here. How does anyone get there? I think financial independence is a springboard. It is a step towards freeing oneself from the artificial limits of time and energy.

Next, I think it is important to evaluate ones passions. For me, that is family, hospice, and communicating.

Last is the hard part. Maybe the hardest part of all. To enjoy pursuing these things in a joyful, non-stressed, productive way. And to avoid the pitfalls of fame, money, and happiness.

For me, that means letting go of some side hustles here and there. Battling the achievement treadmill.

And communicating for the joy and connection that it brings.