Solving For Happy

I used to think that life was some great algebraic equation. Happy was on one side, and on the other some division of time and money. The solution lay somewhere in maximizing the money variable, and utilizing the time variable most effectively. Yet, if half retirement has taught me one thing, it is that solving for happy is not nearly so linear.

Escaping the drudgery of work nor having overfilled coffers has been enough to tip the scales. There are other considerations that still seem rather vague and ephemeral.

The Art of Subtraction

Certainly subtraction is important on the road to contentedness (I still hate the word happy). While getting rid of things won’t create good feelings, it certainly will get rid of bad ones.

Half retirement has certainly proved this. By removing that which I didn’t enjoy in my work environment, I have created a much more rewarding situation. Or at least, less sucky. I still appreciate all the things I liked in my job before, they just come at less of a cost.

Not just at work, but in other venues of life, the same holds true. Letting go of toxic relationships, spending habits, and activities will have a similar effect.

But solving for happy is a little more complicated, subtraction itself won’t create contentedness.

Joyfulness/Peace

I started to meditate regularly. Exercize. Listen to classical music. I could feel my heart rate go down and my breathing steady. Maybe seeking internal solitude was enough. Maybe solving for happy is much more physiologic and less psychologic. It’s all a matter of being in good shape. Or maybe not.

I have become much more calm. Yet no more happy.

So I took up hobbies. I read voraciously. Wrote every morning. Started a podcast and began my career as a public speaker. Each bringing joy for moments at a time. Some of these moments lasting longer than others. Never, however, were they permanent. Each its own little treadmill pushing aggressively for more and not less.

People

In solving for happiness, the most durable solution seems to lie in people. Relationships. The great promise of financial independence is not just the fiscal means to engage in one’s dreams, but also the emotional bandwidth necessary.

I am a better spouse, and father, and son. I have more time and energy for friends and family. I have become a community member, and embrace the social bonds that go along with such membership.

In this, the great algebra of life seems to have revealed itself. Maybe the money doesn’t matter. Maybe the accomplishments are short lived. The goal might just be to change the world a little less, and touch the people who surround you a little more.

This sounds a lot more viable.

Final Thoughts

Solving for happy has been a lifelong puzzle. Neither financial independence nor half retirement have made the answers any more clear. Subtraction, joy, and peace are certainly adding to contentedness.

But I’m starting to think that it is within people and relationships where true happiness resides.