Lack of Control

Amidst worrying about white swan events and giving myself permission to suck, I have come to some conclusions about the way I work. Struggles with retirement and work life balance should not be surprising. I have been trying to wrangle the control of just about every aspect of my life since childhood. Although these attempts have generally helped make me a successful, independent adult, they also can lead to anxiety and confusion. One of the big parts about moving towards a more purposeful life is realizing that there is a certain lack of control that one must accept.

There is that which we can shape. That which we can endure. And that which we can accept. It is the same whether we are talking about financial independence or relationships.

Risk

Every ounce of living requires risk. Our finances are no different. If you invest in the stock market it could crash. Leave your money in cash and there could be a run on the bank. If you stuff your mattress you could be victim of a theft. The act of having means that you are at risk for losing.

We cannot erase risk. We can only mitigate, For this reason, insurance was created. Mathematical models were formulated. And people created plans and back up plans. Plan As and plan B’s. We study diversification and learn about the different assets classes. We create multiple revenue streams and develop hustles on the side.

But no matter how hard we try, the lack of control is still abundant. There are only so many contingency plans we can create. Ultimately, acceptance is the only path to sanity.

Over Planning

At some point, the lack of control can lead to anxiety. The attempts to minimize that which is infinite can never bring joy. Talk to anyone who calculates the sustained withdrawal rate in the 2% range. They are looking for an answer that is bulletproof.

Perfect, however, is the enemy of good. There is no such thing as the perfect financial or life plan. Holding on too tight does not bring happiness or joy. It brings stress and pain.

Over thinking and over-planning often bring misery. Not only because they set one up for unrealistic expectations but also because reality is rarely so neat and tidy.

Imperfection

I am trying to embrace the imperfection in my life instead of fighting it. My best laid plans only come to pass a percentage of the time. As I work towards half retirement, I am trying to take setbacks in stride. Maybe the nursing homes can’t find coverage for me as quickly as I would like. Maybe my blog or podcast won’t grow the way I was expecting.

In order to evolve to the next level, I must find a way to accept this lack of control. Not only to abandon expectations but to embrace uncertainty.

I believe this is the only way to financial and personal peace

Final Thoughts

I am coming to terms with the lack of control in my life. I have no say over financial markets, real estate trends, or the thousands of things that can go wrong. Although I can risk mitigate as much as possible, there is another aspect to the solution. Acceptance.

At some point we have to accept that which we can’t change.