A Second Look at Private School

I have written before about how we broke the budget when we decided to send my daughter to private school. It was a hard decision, but one we felt we were forced to make. Things were going exceedingly poorly at the public school. My daughters winter jacket had been stolen. Her gym shoes pilfered by a group of “friends” and thrown in the trash. And the last straw. The kids had formed an “I hate (my daughter’s name) club”. We went to her teacher and got disappointing answers. She eventually told us that our daughter was just different and “difficult”. Her judgements in no way matched the impression of our sweet empathic child that we saw at home. Over years of public school, our boisterous and rambunctious kiddo became sullen and quiet. It’s now been a year and a half since we made the change. And I think it’s time to take a second look at private school and whether it is worth the 25K we spend yearly.

Boy have things changed.

Community

It had been so many years, we had forgotten what it felt like to have our daughter bubble over with joy. From early childhood, it was the relationships that lit her up. Yet over a few grades of public school, we had seen most of her friendships fizzle out. She was only invited to a single birthday party her whole third grade year, and the sleep over ended with bullying and frantic kids tromping all over the kindness of the host family.

Fourth grade at her new school couldn’t have been more different. She was immediately pulled into a group of girls, and was overwhelmed with parties and play dates in the first month. The kids were kinder, bullying was almost completely absent, and my daughter’s empathetic nature was embraced instead of shunned.

As the months passed, parents and teachers alike came up to us and praised our daughter for her outgoing nature and kindness.

For any of those out there who are worried about finances getting in the way of a transition, I suggest you take a second look at private school. For us, it has been well worth the money.

Confidence

There is nothing more devastating than to see your child’s confidence evaporate. We watched for years as we saw her lose faith in herself and her abilities. My wife and I went to a child psychologist to learn techniques to boost her up. We provided love and support as much as we could at home. But no matter how much we gave, we couldn’t protect her from the onslaught she received everyday at school.

Until we moved her. Her new teachers immediately grabbed hold of her willingness to help and participate, and started to develop in her the leadership mindset. She received praise for her outgoing nature and provided extra opportunities to grow and learn.

While the public school teachers could only tell us about how our daughter was different (inferring difficult), our private school teachers couldn’t stop talking about how different our daughter was (meaning a leader).

One day my daughter came home and she was the happy confident kid that we remembered before she enrolled in public school. It took her three years to mow her down at the local elementary, and only a few months of private school to build her back up.

We didn’t need to take a second look at private school, we were already sold.

Finances

There is no question it is expensive. We pay $20K tuition and donate another $5K every year. Although this appears ludicrous, there is actually a significant funding gap. Tuition only covers roughly 2/3 of the money spent on students. The rest is endowments and donations.

While this sounds like a luxury, I can assure you that for our daughter, it was life saving. Seeing her this happy, confident, and thriving, is priceless.

She actually looks forward to Monday morning. If nothing else, that should make you take a second look at private school.

Final Thoughts

Sending my daughter to private school was not a very financial independence friendly move. Yet, seeing the world of difference in my daughter, I would suggest this path to just about anyone whose child is struggling in the public school system.

My daughter has recaptured her joy and confidence not only at school, but at home also. She has been restored to the happy child she was before we entered this public school fiasco.

And it is so worthwhile. I would spend this money even if I didn’t have it. I would go into credit card debt and risk my retirement if necessary.

I would do this for my daughter.

Wouldn’t you?

FYI, if you want to hear a blog post in audio, check out my latest podcast.