Urgency

Quick, quick, quick. Agitated whispering in my ear, I can’t help but heed the hearkening. I can’t escape the urgency. It’s been with me all this time. With me as a kid, young adult, new employee, and now half retired person. I am always in a rush. Always anxious about moving from point A to point B. It’s not just geographical but mental as well. From one achievement to another. One thought process to another.

I used to call it restlessness, but now I know better. It is not some tense reaction to boredom. It runs deeper.

Time Stress

I have always been in a rush. from the moment I arrive somewhere, I am working on my exit strategy. I have my schedule memorized for the day, and am acutely aware of how much time each activity takes.

This was extremely helpful in my working career as a physician. When confronted with a schedule full of complex patients, it was quite handy to be on top of time constraints.

But it’s not so great when this tendency bleeds into personal life. The urgency sometimes follows for no reason other than habit. How many times have I stood by the back door tapping my feet as I wait for my children? For no logical reason. It’s the weekend, why be in such a rush?

Semi retirement has helped some. But it’s not so easy to shake this habit. It bubbles up and must be consciously suppressed in order not to rear its ugly head

The Achievement Treadmill

It’s not just about time. The achievement treadmill works much the same way. There is an urgency to change the world. Make a mark. Be the most successful, or profitable, or well known.

This urgency has no limits. It complies with no bounds. And like any other treadmill, it rarely is quenched by reaching ones goals. The goalpost can and will always be moved.

There is never a finish line.

This sort of perspective makes much sense when someone is at the beginning of a career. When they are at the starting line of a long race. The drive and determination can do wonders. But it may not be the most gratifying feeling in mid to late career. To learn that good is not good enough can be somewhat off putting.

There is no peace.

Returning To Mindset

As discussed in the last post, it seems that the road to financial independence is more affected by mindset than income or debt. In many ways, I think the same applies to post financial independence happiness.

Letting go of this urgency requires a complete mindset makeover. You, at some point, have to realize that writing that book, selling that coarse, or becoming the most internet famous blogger won’t actually solve any problems.

Indeed, it may actually create more.

Final Thoughts

I have spent a great part of my life conquering economic obstacles. Achieving financial independence is quite gratifying. Yet, this sense of urgency continues to plague me. Whether it be time stress, the achievement treadmill, or whatever else I find to obsess over. There has to be a better answer.

Maybe that answer is to let go of urgency. To concentrate on the here and now instead of what will be. To squelch yearning and become an adorer of what already is.

There is so much out there that I want to achieve. So many places I want to go.

And most likely none of them will make me any happier.

I’m starting to become okay with that.