Reframing Struggle

I have done quite a bit of thinking about reframing in my life. I touched on this briefly in my post about reframing sacrifice as hustle. Reading over Dr. Linus’ blog post today, however, I realize that what I have grown the most from is reframing struggle.

We all struggle. We all trip, stumble and fall. It is not how you cushion the blow, nor how you get back up that necessarily makes the difference. It’s more about how your future self thinks about struggle after the fact. It’s about how you reframe it.

Every life story has a villain, hero, and cast of nameless characters. Whether you see yourself as knight, knave, or court jester makes all the difference.

Every tragedy creates the opportunity for triumph

Learning Disabled

I grew up with a learning disability. While my friends in elementary school were voraciously plowing through text, I was stuck with a crayon and coloring book. Words and letters would dance on the page and elude me. My characters were disjointed, awkward, and often misplaced outside of the lines. It took years of tutors, extra work, and blood, sweat, and tears to even get up to minimum grade level.

But as an adult, I have gotten so much mileage out of reframing this struggle. The blood, sweat, and tears were not only mine, but those of countless tutors, school administrators, and family members. I was swathed in love, acceptance, and support.

I was given a selfless gift from so many nameless and generous people who helped coach me along the way.

My learning disability was one of the best things that ever happened to me. It created not only a sense of worthiness in deserving others help, but also triumph in overcoming my first life hurdle.

And I have developed a joy of words, reading, and writing that will last a lifetime.

Fatherless

My father died unexpectedly when I was eight years old. Devastating as that sounds, reframing struggle has turned this tragedy into a part of my origin story. My journey to becoming a physician was steeped in yearning to be like him, and carry on his legacy. Because of this journey, I have not only forged a path to wealth but also have spent my formative years deeply mired in humanism and meaningful work.

My professional career has careened towards hospice and palliative care. Who better to help patients and families dealing with loss?

And I was never truly fatherless, my mother remarried and I gained all the love and knowledge a stepfather could give. From him, I learned about business, entrepreneurism, and real estate.

I also got an extra brother and sister in the mix.

Failure

I am a failure. When I was a kid I failed at basketball when I couldn’t make my high school team. I failed at investing by relying on a financial advisor. I failed at business both speculative and otherwise. Years into writing my first blog, I couldn’t maintain an audience. Months into writing this one, I still struggle.

But I refuse to lament my shortcomings.

Reframing struggle has allowed me to see each misstep as important and necessary.

In Conclusion

Struggle is part and parcel of the human condition. Anyone who has set out to achieve anything audacious or ordinary has fallen into this sinkhole.

Success, contentment, and even happiness have nothing to do with the horribleness that has befallen us in the past, and everything to do with the stories we tell ourselves about these situations.

By reframing struggle, we become the protagonist of our own narrative. We ascend to knight and rise above the knaves.

We not only cope, we thrive.