Getting Past You Can’t

There are a million personal finance blogs that will teach you how to reach financial independence by the art of incremental gains. They will espouse frugal hacks, how-to lists, and all sorts of great granular advice on how to strive towards one’s goals. That is not my niche. You will not find any advice here on how to save on insurance or cut the grocery bill. No offense intended. It’s just not what I’m good at. My bread and butter lies a little more in the forest and less in the trees. I like to inspect from the thousand foot view. Up here, patterns begin to emerge. What interests me most, is those patterns that lead to better optimization and success in a chosen path. Today, I’d like to focus on one of these in particular. Getting past you can’t.

I have been told you can’t many times in my life. Throughout childhood, it was the one consistent phrase batted around me as I jumped into each new adventure. Adulthood has been no better.

Chances are that naysayers will follow you where ever you go.

The trick to getting past you can’t is to realize the more you are hearing this phrase, the closer you are to achieving something spectacular.

Be tenacious.

And understand what the people saying these words truly mean.

I Don’t Believe In You

I grew up with a learning disability, and struggled for years trying to grasp the basic concepts of reading and spelling. Then something magical happened. After years of tutoring, my teacher took me to the head of the class and displayed five books. They were reading guides meant for students of differentiated abilities. I was mostly coloring in a coloring book at the time while my peers were splayed out amongst the five levels.

As I walked up to the front of the room, a classmate in the most difficult level looked at me and said:

You can’t join my group, you’re not smart enough!

This was the last thing I heard before successfully demonstrating to my teacher, in front of the whole class, that I could read far better than anyone expected. She placed the first book on the desk and I began to read. After proving proficiency, she than graduated me to the next book.

By the end of the hour, I landed in the level just under my naysaying classmate.

Years later, I would far surpass him academically.

Getting past you can’t, I realized what my so-called friend was really saying .

I don’t believe in you.

It’s Unheard Of

When I started selling art work on the internet, I went to many brick and mortar galleries to learn about the business model. I was new to the field, and felt like I needed to gain as much knowledge as possible. Over and over, I heard the same phrase from the gallery owners.

You can’t just start an online art business!

They hemmed and hawed about the relationship building that was necessary. They opined that a doctor couldn’t muster the business savvy or the know how to make it in the art world. Then they complained that having a place to display the art, although costly, was more ideal for this kind of business.

Six months later, I was selling to them at cheaper prices than they were getting from the publishers. I became one of the galleries best resources.

Getting past you can’t, I realized that what the gallerists were actually saying is that they had never heard of anyone having success in my proposed model.

Not that it was impossible.

I Can’t

When I decided to open my own concierge medical group, a colleague took me aside and adamantly tried to convince me not to give up my current role. He had recently tried the model himself, and had failed miserably. He didn’t want me to make the same mistake he had. I remember how animated he was.

You can’t give up your successful practice on a whim. You’ll never make it!

Getting past you can’t, I now know what he really meant.

He meant*: I can’t*.

I couldn’t make it work.

When You Shouldn’t

Sometimes, one shouldn’t ignore you can’t:

It’s Illegal
It’s Immoral
You put your health at risk
It will get you noticed by the IRS
It’s really risky

In Conclusion

Getting past you can’t requires much thought and understanding. Successful people don’t just listen to the naysayers and give up.

You will face many roadblocks to success. Make sure you can decode the you can’ts, and only listen to those that you shouldn’t ignore.