Financial Independence and the Emotional Construct of Scarcity
The Emotional Construct of Body Image
Although since college I have told everybody that I am 6 Feet tall, in reality, It’s closer to 5’11”. A few years ago when I weighed 180 pounds, I wouldn’t have called myself obese. Maybe a little over-weight, but not too bad. My waist size was a solid 36 inches. I certainly looked good in a tuxedo, but who doesn’t look good in a tuxedo? Right? Back then I had formed an image of myself, an emotional construct, in my mind.
I was athletic but a little pudgy. I could see the beginnings of a role forming over the belt line. Certainly I wasn’t the guy who was going to take his shirt off when jogging on a warm summer day. This construct of self, this internal image of who I am, turned out to be quite resistant to change.
Over the last three years I have lost a ton of weight. For fun after thanksgiving one year, I decided to track my food intake with the app myfitnesspal.com. Over months the pounds peeled off, and my weight leveled off at 150 pounds. This drastic change was quickly noted by friends and colleagues. All of the sudden, my waist line was a hot topic of discussion.
The weight loss felt good. I was thin and in shape. My energy levels were great, and my self-esteem was at an all time high.
But there was a catch. You see, when I took my clothes off and looked in the mirror, I didn’t see any difference. I was the same pudgy me with my belly hanging over the belt line. My mind was able to analyze and know that my eyes were playing a trick on me. I could measure my waist, I could pick through the clothes that now would fall off my backside even with a belt.
My emotional construct, my internal image, however, no longer matched reality.
And it was really hard to reconcile.
The Emotional Construct of Scarcity
I stumbled onto the concept of financial independence quite by accident. I made the leap from understanding FI, to yearning for FI, to realizing I was FI within minutes. While logically my mind can grasp the revelation, I am still stuck in the emotional construct of scarcity. My internal image of myself is still fixed on being a creator, an earner, a worker, and a doctor.
I am metaphorically looking in the mirror, and I don’t see wealth or even enough, I see the guy hustling to build an empire. I am stuck in the creation phase even long after the reason for creating has started to wane. Who needs to build new revenue streams when you have enough? The rat race to move up the ladder has come to an end. The emotional allure of another paycheck should no longer drag me into lucrative but unappealing opportunities.
Yet it does. Over and over again. I find myself charging head first into another revenue generating activity without asking whether it is bringing me closer to my true purpose. My true calling.
The emotional construct of scarcity is too strong. It distorts. It tells me that I am on the cusp of financial dependence and not independence. The construct laughs at my abundance, and mocks my every attempt to slow down.
And it’s not just me. All of you who are shooting for a saving level of 40X current spending or have set your safe withdrawal rate less than 3.5%. You guys are in the same boat with me.
Those of you who are struggling with one more year. You are my brethren.
How To Overcome the False Emotional Construct?
Your guess is as good as mine.
When it came to weight, I compared myself to old pictures. I tracked my waist circumference and weight levels. I studied myself in parts. Focusing on one specific geographic area, and noted how it looked more lean than before. Slowly, I was able to reprogram my internal image of my body.
With my finances, I am trying to do the same. I compare net worth from earlier years to my current. Spending habits are also contrasted. I calculate my safety no matter how bad the markets turn. By doing this, I am re-writing my internal hard drive. Creating a newer more healthy emotional construct.
I suspect, with a little time, it will stick.